“Who the fuck threw that?”

I bellowed loudly down the corridor that lead from our changing room out onto the fields at Hackney Marshes. I had just been struck in the face by a football and somebody was going to pay. Ben stepped around the corner and looked interestedly at me as the color washed out of my face. I felt my adrenaline pop, felt myself feeling the familiar shaky burst of energy and aggression as I stepped forward into an arena that excluded everybody else.

This was going to hurt.

Ben was three years my senior, as a large thirteen year old playing senior football however I’d learned to tough it up a bit. I was taller than half the team, stronger than the other half and I knew how to use it on the field but here we were in a mud covered and cold changing room and the coaches were taking a showers and packing up equipment. And it was Ben.

Walls of bodies slowly surrounded us as we stood a few inches apart. I could have apologized, could have cowered before him but I was still charged from the game and the win and I was feeling a bit tougher than I was. He spread his arms wide apart inviting me to take my best shot and I tried not to look at him anywhere other than in the eyes. I had the body of a boy, he was a young man, with tightly defined muscles and a neck about as thick as a bulldogs. He was the school hard ass, and he had spent the game on the bench while I played in his spot.

He was my mountain to climb.

Somewhere deep inside I made a decision ….

“Go all in, unload, just don’t stop swinging. It’ll be broken up before he gets control.”

I planted my feet, nodded at him and skipped the formalities of posturing and hit him with everything I had. He reeled back on his feet into the wall of bodies and I waded forward peppering him with punches and blows. Everything was targeted towards his face and head and as the seconds rolled on and the sounds of shouting voices escalated in volume I intensified my assault, planting my feet and digging in hard.

Blood began to trickle from cuts and the wet thud of my fists against him where increasingly met with resistance as he slowly recovered his bearings and started to shoot back. I took it to another gear, pinning him back against the wall by his shirt color and continuing to punish him as best I could. He was mine.

Suddenly he had a grasp of my arm, and swept my feet from under me. I tried to tighten an arm around his neck in an effort to maintain control he was able to squirm away and suddenly I could taste iron in my mouth. I was also bleeding.

Over the next few minutes Ben re-invented the word fight for me. By the time the coaches did arrive and dragged him off me I was a bloody battered mess, not that he looked much better. Back on my feet I defiantly yelled “I’m only getting bigger Ben, I’m only going to get stronger”. I was pushed into changing room with the bulk of the boys that had formally surrounded us making sure there was no escape for either of us. One of the coaches knelt in front of me and asked a simple question:

“Are you gonna live?”

Surrounded by the eyes of our entire team, all I could muster was “Just need a smoke sir”. He grinned and the guys around started to clap and cheer. I was jostled onto my feet. The tears came as I received pats on the back and congratulations … and confusion followed. My fists hurt, thick lips, my head felt spongy and bruised, a couple of black eyes and at some point I’d bitten my tongue badly. I’d lost, and I’d taken a beating doing it but all of a sudden everybody wanted to be my friend.

I’d always been the champion of the underdog, and for this one fleeting moment the champion of every other kid in our school and on that team who had wanted to take a shot at Ben over the years. Despite being a hero for day, I felt empty afterward. I felt like I’d come so close to kicking his ass entirely and failed. A dull throbbing nagging doubt followed me for weeks as I replayed the fight in my mind wondering if I could have done anything differently. The truth was I gave it my best shot, he just had to much in the bank. He was too strong, too experienced.

I feel much the same way coming out of the last two games. An epic run, culminating in a massive come from behind 4-3 win over Houston. That peak, of being on top of the world and then crashing back down to earth as you realize your done, and there is not much to be done about it.

We might end up being bloodied and battered throughout what remains of the season.  Either way this run of ours, has been something worth noting.

Between April 13th and July 10th we managed one win against the hopeless Union. One. During this time we lost to the Rapids in the US Open Cup, the Sounders, Houston, DC United, Columbus, Salt Lake, New York, Dallas and Chivas. It was torrid. Then out of nowhere a road win against high flying Columbus sparked out life out of nowhere. It sparked a stand that said we are not going out quietly.

A worthy tie against the Rapids followed, the unforgettable Manchester united game. A win against Toronto. A tie against a very good Real Salt Lake. The Diop game – the massive 4-1 win over New England followed by a 2-0 road win against LA. Hope of the playoffs. A tie against a massively improved Union team. A 2-0 road win against Chivas and finally the incredible 4-3 win against Houston. Two months of solid football, good results that brought us back from the brink of a humiliating season where we were talking about record scoring lows and points earned to one where with five games we still have a shot, albeit an outside one at making the playoffs.

Its worthy of some praise, and despite the wheels coming off against FC Dallas nothing can take that away.

We need a win against New York and some friendly results elsewhere to re-ignite the season, but right now I am quite proud of the Wizards and happy that they managed to put us back in the fight when all hope was lost. They have played with substantial pride and passion and I for one applaud them for it.

For two months we gave anybody that stepped before us hell.  Finally out steam – we lost against a very very good team.

Playoffs or otherwise.

Bravo.

If you have been to a Wizard’s game of late you may have noted the new blue and white bar scarves that fans have been sporting.  The ever industrious Hillcrest Syndicate have put together a pink and white version to promote Breast Cancer Awareness, all proceeds go to charity!

The blue and white version is absolutely great looking in person, the pink and white version should more than match it. It is not often you get to participate in a charitable endevour and actually get something cool in return but there you go.   The scarves are on pre-order through this weekend so get yours ordered quickly by clicking here.

So there I was, holding my wife’s lifeless leg and opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water. Something didn’t add up, and no matter how many times I blinked my eyes or tried to focus on the purple fetus in front of me I didn’t see what I was looking for.

The doctor sensing my confusion said calmly, “Its a girl” and handed me a pair of scissors to separate my daughter from my wife. “A girl”. I had been absolutely convinced up until that precious moment that I was going to have a girl, but when she actually popped out I struggled to believe that I didn’t in fact have a boy.

55 weeks after the fact and I would no more wish she was a boy than I would wish her dead. She is perfect in every way to me and I get to be a Dad without the burden of having to raise an upstanding young man when I am not entirely sure that I am that solid of a male figure to begin with. She doesn’t have to suffer my endless goading to live up to the priorities and high standards I have of the men in my world, she simply needs to be a good person and I simply get to enjoy bringing her up. She has a fine mother who will shape and mold her into modest, moral and generous person just by her very nature.

Having a girl was freeing, and now my focus is providing the best I can for her, motivating her to learn and live out the ambitions she will have and presenting the world as a place to be unafraid of. She will be raised to believe she can achieve whatever she wants, and I’ll be there to watch her and support her in doing it.

This immersed want of a male child was rooted in my own childhood where I had an absent father and lacked male role models. I think I had this idea of kicking a ball with a kid, going fishing, helping iron out the perfect swing. It was all rooted in masculine endeavors, predominantly sport. I was looking to fill a hole in my world which I now realize, and I feel like both she and I dodged a bullet.

I love sport. I love competition.

Yet somehow my psyche hadn’t cottoned onto the fact that women can compete as well. In my old world limey way I still sometimes think its a man’s domain, not because I do think women should be trapped at home with the kids and the stove but because up until recently I hadn’t considered Women’s professional sport to be anything but a side event.

When the Women’s Premier League started in England in 1992 the games where barely televised. The product was poor and it didn’t seem like the women where particularly fit or skillful. Add in some derisory commentary and it became apparent quickly that it wasn’t going to hold the interest of the British public at large for long and it didn’t. 18 years after the fact the Premier League has been reduced from a dozen teams to eight teams and others have left to form the FA Women’s Super League which will be the new highest tier. The game is still under the radar although coverage rights have been sold to ESPN so there is hope that it will exist on at least a few households in the UK.

I can not name a single English female football player.

Scroll forward to 2009 and Women’s Professional Soccer (WPS )started to grab my attention. As a start up women’s professional league I realized quickly that it was a far cry from watching “Arsenal Ladies” scratch out a bore draw with the Doncaster Rovers Belles.

In watching WPS I could not help note that  we had the pinnacle of female talent on display, the commentary was positive and professional, and the production quality good. Best of all was the play, which was open and athletic. The WPS is often a lot more fun for me to watch than MLS which can seem like a physical battle without much time for skill and finesse. WPS games on the other hand lack that physical intensity, are played at a slower pace but also include some lovely passing and movement, the games are fun to watch and engaging.

This is what I want my daughter to see. A proper, unashamedly high standard women’s league that if she was interested in sport I could point her towards. Something that can show her that she need not be restricted to a non-sporting  profession. It suddenly became an extra avenue through which I could potentially help her see that there were no limits to what she could do and become.

WPS isn’t healthy, in fact launching a league during the worst recession in recent times has been a challenge and the long term viability of WPS remains a big question mark but for me it represents hope. It is necessary, and above all I enjoy it. I have no doubt I will take my daughter to soccer games at the new Wizards stadium, no doubt at all so long as she is interested but when the news broke a while back that WPS was considering a franchise in Kansas City.

“Other areas that have had at least preliminary talks include Denver, Vancouver, San Diego, Ontario, Miami and Kansas City, where a group is interested in bringing a team to the new Wizards Stadium that is set to open next year.”

My excitement was unabashed.

The ability to go to more games is just a massive win in my book and for a fleeting moment I thought that the superb Wizards ownership group OnGoal might be making a play for a team but this was quickly shot down by Executive Vice President Greg Cotton.

“If WPS came to Kansas City, we’d love to host them in our stadium. OnGoal supports women’s soccer at all levels, but at this time we are not actively looking to own a WPS team.”

I emailed WPS last week to see if could substantiate any of this, to find out if there was an existing group or if the discussion was over.  What I received as a brief email saying that it wasn’t done, that there was a group in Kansas City looking to run a WPS franchise but that the discussion were very preliminary in nature.  What this says to me is that nothing is happening in the foreseeable future but nothing is being ruled out.

Hope remains?  I have a glimmer but it is hanging by a thread.

Are you interested in WPS coming to Kansas City?  If you are let me know.  Maybe a little grass root encouragement might help as yet unknown groups in Kansas City move forward a bit more boldly.

Earlier in the year Charles Gooch, Thad Bell, Mike Kuhn and I sat down to record a Podcast. It went over well, and so we decided to do it again this past weekend. Both parts are available via iTunes or directly below, if you decide to listen to this budget some serious time …. there are two segments, the first a 38 minute general look at the Wizards improvement, the playoff race and the second part a long 55 minute discussion about the rebranding, International games and other assorted trivia.

Part 1

Part 2

Let us know what you think, we obviously could use some tuning, some better equipment, timed segments … this is an amateur endeavor but a little feedback on how we can improve these in the future would be welcome.

For those of you who wish to download the two MP3s directly try right clicking here, and here and choose save when you are prompted.

I was fortunate enough to get out to the stadium site yesterday, and thankfully I had Brice Christman along for the ride.  Brice stitched these two photos together, and we may have a couple more for you to come.   Things have progressed immensely since I was last out at the site two months ago however the weather was poor and it restricted what we could do and where we could go.  I’ll try and head out in a week or two on a sunny day and get some of the other shots I wanted to share with you all.

Either way, in a nutshell – glass is going up in the windows over the main entrance, roofing is going in.  The Cauldron area behind the goal has been graded.  The race is on to get the west side of the stadium enclosed so work can continue over winter.  Everything is going to plan.

As you scroll down you will find the typical assortment of captioned images, a pretty piss poor video and some further notes.

I’ll be turning the above into wallpaper later in the week, if you have a screen size you would like me to cater to pop a note in the comments and let me know.

Followers of the webcam might also like to learn that a camera has been setup inside, is being tuned.  It will not be stationary and well pan backwards and forwards around the stadium.  I think this is great.  Look for it to be online soon.

What you don’t see on the webcam : Glass is going into the facade of the
stadium  – it looks great already, throw in polished brickwork and this
is going to be a stadium that looks great outside as well!

Looking south – trying to show you the roof from the inside.

The roofing over the south end.  Also note the stage insert and the brace
above it for the big screen.

Nice to see the beam the fans signed right at the heart
of the stadium.

The Interior of the third level : Executive boxes etc

Looking South towards the stage (the insert).  Note the framing above the
stage area — that is holding the screen up!  Thing is going to be huge!

The section of the support section behind the North goal.

If you want to see more check out this gallery.  As always it is on Facebook but you do not need an account to view the images – there are 75 or so approximately.  These will be captioned eventually.  Thanks as always to the Turner Construction and Wizards people for being so accommodating to us amateurs – it is appreciated.